Where's Tim Donoghy when you need him?

That's right David Stern, Ambien isn't the answer to all those sleepless nights.

Pistons v. Spurs Finals? Your bedroom probably has more corners than that series will get market share. Want to come closer to the number of specs on the ceiling...thats right, go old school...Lakers v. Celtics baby.

You can probably only get away with Joey Crawford (see Tim Duncan getting thrown out for laughing) reffing 2 games in the Lakers series, so you'll need Phil and the boys to come through at least twice on their own. With Kobe and one of the most lopsided trades of all time, this should be a lock. Good job on that one!

Boston has taken back home court after you slipped 'Sheed, Rip and Billips mickeys before game 3. Still that might not be enough because it appears Detroit has gotten their legs back and are rolling in Game 4.

What you need is something extra, something you can count on to come through. The Yankees turn to Mo in a pinch, the Pats give it to Brady in the final 2 minutes, the 9er's Montana, the Bulls Jordan. But in this case, who do you trust? KG? Allen? Pierce? Certainly not Doc Rivers, I don't think anyone in Celtic Nations (Danny Ainge included) trusts him. What you need is a little help from the Zebras. Where are the corruptible officials when you need them? Oh, that's right, you've got the FBI investigating all of them and you're doing your best to pretend to help them.

Let's all be honest with each other, basketball is the easiest sport to rig, hands down, no questions asked. With so many arbitrary calls that could go either way, timely whistles to kill momentum or give a team a point here or there are virtually undetectable and easily executed. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I'll be sure to be putting my money where my mouth is if this goes 7, and I'd suggest you follow suit.